Warm & Fuzzy

There’s just something about a familiar routine. It’s almost like the warm and fuzzy feelings you get when you’re watching a movie you’ve seen before. You know how it’s going to end, and the ending is going to be happy. There is no need to be apprehensive, on guard, or even focused. Instead, you might jump up from the couch to get a blanket or a snack- all in preparation of the happy ending and good feelings that follow. No need to pay full attention because you’ve seen in hundreds of times and could probably quote the whole thing by memory. Even if you haven’t seen the movie before, if it’s a good solid chick-flick, you know how it’s going to end; amazing hot guy meets amazing hot girl, guy falls head over heels for girl, girl isn’t so sure, hot guy #2 comes onto the scene but he’s a jerk, girl is confused, but in the end, the good guy always gets the girl who eventually falls madly in love with him… cue warm fuzzy feelings and a sense of satisfaction in the fact that “you called it” from the very beginning. In life outside of the cinema, it is undisputable that familiarity is comfort and new experiences are viewed as difficult, exciting, adventurous, gutsy, and not for the faint at heart. From little things such as shopping at a different grocery store, to big things like starting school in a different city, change is hard. We don’t know where the dairy section is… or the band-aids… or the toilet paper. We don’t know where classroom 203 is, or if there’s going to be a seat open, or if the teacher is a going to give open-book tests. Although being in a state of confusion and discomfort isn’t pleasant by any means, we find ourselves to be more alert, in peak noticing condition, and are more aware of our surroundings- many times more aware of our own awkwardness. Easily stated, cluelessness is NOT a warm and fuzzy feeling.

It’s times like these that we start to feel a pang of homesickness- is it home that we are actually sick for, or is it the familiarity of knowing what’s around that next corner, knowing what the street names are, or knowing you will be invited to join the conversation? No matter how mundane it may feel, routine is comfort and we like it.

Traveling to Australia and starting a new job has illuminated the fact that I love comfort. I love knowing exactly where I am when I go running with my dog, I love knowing where everything is in the grocery store, I love going to work and knowing how to do everything and fix people’s problems, I love running into people I know downtown or at coffee shops, I love meeting new people at church and bringing them into a circle of conversation because I know they feel uncomfortable, I love driving home and opening the front door to be greeted by my happy dog, I love going to school, parking in my parking spot, sitting in the same chair in my class, and knowing everybody I see in the hall. It’s comfort, and I like comfort. I love looking forward to homemade pizza and a movie on Friday nights with my family, the smell of pancakes on Saturday mornings, how my dog comes into my room wakes me up, I love the vanilla smell of my car, I love knowing that my sister will be my hot date to practically anything so I don’t have to go alone, and that my mom will defend me when the world seems to be against me. It’s warm and fuzzy, and I like warm and fuzzy.

Since I stepped into the Redmond airport last month, the warm fuzzy feeling vanished and I don’t expect them to come back any time soon. Juggling two massive suitcases, a huge hiking backpack, a messenger bag, and passport and tickets is NOT warm or fuzzy. Navigating through the Sydney airport alone isn’t either. Living seventeen hours ahead, using different colored money, traveling everywhere by train or foot, and making my way up unfamiliar streets with hundreds of people pushing from all sides is anything but warm and fuzzy.

I ducked into a little coffee shop the other day to catch my breath, and just sat there looking out the window at all of the people rushing to that somewhere familiar- maybe they were going towards homes, to wives, husbands, children, yummy dinners, warm fires, cozy beds. No matter where they were going, it was probably familiar and comfortable.

As I sat there, feeling drained from everything, I began to smile. Even though I was exhausted, it was a different type of exhaustion- it wasn’t because I was tired of the mundane. I was tired because of all the change. Climate, time zones, country, food, culture- but I felt so much more alive and alert- more observant, independent, and expectant of the unexpected.

I began to think about what it means to be comfortable verses out of my comfort zone in my relationship with God. Sure I like the warm fuzzy feeling of having a routine for devotions every morning or evening, going to church twice a week, small group on Mondays, volunteering with the youth group wednesday nights, worship team a couple times a month… but is that how God wants us to live? In complete comfortable scheduled time with Him? With comfort comes complacency, loss of alertness, expecting the next bend in the road before it comes, and such a general sense of checking-out that we don’t even notice God’s hand in anything outside of our scheduled “Jesus time”. Or does he want us to be in a place where we are not quite sure what the next step will be, but in return, are alert and sensitive to his soft voice? It means something different to everyone, but has definitely caused me to think about how comfortable I have really been in my walk with God- mostly because I didn’t know how uncomfortable it could actually get until now.

I am challenged. Challenged to look outside my “scheduled” time with God for opportunities to bless others, hear God’s voice, talk to him, and love others. I am challenged to put myself in unfamiliar situations just to remind myself how it feels to be uncomfortable, and also, how it feels for the new person that doesn’t know anyone. I am challenged to trust God with my future plans, knowing that no matter how foreign or unplanned my situation may be, God has already planned how it turns out. I am challenged to be less of a planner and list-maker, and to be more of a listener to the Master planner. I am challenged to look to God for my comfort rather than material things or circumstances.

“May your unfailing love be my comfort…” Psalm 119:76

Be Blessed!